Friday, October 20, 2006

Mama, I am coming home!



Take me home


To the place I belong

Where is that?

West Virginia, Mountain Momma.

Saari. This is India.

Take me home, country roads.

Get out you crack pot.




Take me down

Where to?

To the paradise city.


Where the grass is green and the girls are pretty

What the??

Take me home. Oh, won't you please take me home.


Air Sahara. How my I help you?

I wish that I could fly
Into the sky
So very high
Just like a dragonfly

Where to, Sir?

I’d fly above the trees
Over the seas in all degrees
To anywhere I please

Would you like a return ticket too?

Oh I want to get away
I want to fly away
Yeah yeah yeah

I think you would need a "Jet" for that. No sahara from us.

Ok. You get the idea.
I am going home for Diwali. This is the first time I am going home after I came to Bombay to become a slave.

Happy Diwali everyone. Have a blast :)

Take care and so long.

See you on the other side of midnight!

Tuesday, October 17, 2006

No Wimmen Plz.

I never thought that I would say something like this. I wouldn’t even have dreamt about it and my mind would resist the very thought of such a thought. There is a time and a place in my life when I don’t want any women near me, at least in a 6 feet radius around me. Yes, I don’t want women anywhere near me.

The time: Peak Hours. The place: Mumbai local.

Is duniya mein do tarah ke log hote hain: ek hai the newly-wed-horny-husbands who don’t want to let go of their wives even for an instant aur doosra hai the i-am-soooo-much-in-love boyfriends who wish to spend every second with his girl before bidding adieu for the day. These are the men/boys who get the women/girls into an overcrowded compartment full of men and cause misery and suffering to one and all. As if being single and get crushed by other single men at the end of a long day wasn’t good enough.

After the couple gets into the train, the guy surveys the scene around them. In each and every one of us he sees a Shakti Kapoor or Gulshan Grover, with open salivating mouths and lust in our eyes and bad thoughts in our head [thinking of Garnier Fructis :)]. He has this major feeling that he needs to protect his woman from the bad men who might attack her izzat. He comes up with a plan. He stations her next to the wall so that her rear is protected. He then puts his arms on her shoulders and uses his body as a shield, taking care of the front. The lady is asked to place her arms tightly next to her body. The protection sequence is complete.

This might have been romantic in any other setting. But in the local, it is frigging hilarious and downright ridiculous. Imagine an overcrowded train and this couple in a hugging stance and lady looking slightly embarrassed and the guy throwing menacing looks at whoever happens to look in their direction. Things get worse when it’s a boyfriend-girlfriend scenario. At least the married couple is silent for most of the journey. But not our i-got-a-girl-yippee! guy. This guy has to impress the girl and so he keeps on talking and narrates all the cool stuff that has happened in his amazing life. The lady keeps giggling at the correct moments, playing her role to perfection. All I wanted to do was sit in a corner and read my newspaper and fall asleep after some time. But life’s a bitch!

My major crib against these couples in the train is that they take up so much space. Four guys would comfortably stand in the place taken up by these two. Since there is a girl involved, all of us have to maintain our distance lest something unfortunate happens. Yours truly was subjected to this and it wasn’t a good experience. A kid, 16-17 years old max, gets into the train with her father. It must be her first day at a new school. As luck would have it, she was standing next to me. I had no intentions to get into any trouble and was maintaining a healthy distance. But the train shakes a lot and people keep pushing regularly. How I wish this was some fevicol ad. Everyone in their place! At some point in time, my elbow brushed against her back. She gives me one dirty look. I look away hoping that she wouldn’t yell and call for her dad. This happened a couple of times and she keeps giving that dirty look. I was completely pissed off. I put some fight and moved away from that place. Why couldn’t she travel in the ladies compartment, for heavens sake!! And the worst is yet to come. The lady wants to get down and the crowd splits up like the red sea. A safe passage and everyone ensures that no protruding part of their body touches the lady. You should travel in the local to realize how much painful it is to create so much space for one person.

The government reserved compartments for the ladies. Please use them. Don’t come and stand next to me and pain the shit out of me.

Perhaps they should add more compartments: Couples Only! One more place where I cannot enter added to the list.

Saturday, October 07, 2006

Goodbye, cruel world,
I'm leaving you today.
Goodbye, goodbye, goodbye.

Goodbye all you people,
Theres nothing you can say,
To make me change my mind.
Location: Kavaratti. Photographer: Moi!!
If we dont meet again, hope we were well met. Else, I will see you around.
Have a great weekend.
Happy thoughts everyone :)

Friday, October 06, 2006

Thank You.

I never expected that a harmless and innocent joke can have such drastic effects. Almost life changing events I dare say. Well nothing dramatic happened. :)

Five of my friends from Lucknow opted out of placements and started on their own. It’s a medical tourism venture. Please check out IndigoEdge and IndiaCares. One of them was Doc. Our dear old buddhau who has a perpetual bad taste in his mouth! A few months ago, I scrapped him asking if IndigoEdge was recruiting and told him that I am willing to join them. It was done in good humor and then I completely forgot about it. One day Doc calls me and asks me if I was on the lookout for a new job. I thought he read my scrap and was now getting back at me. I was laughing hard and told him yes. He then told me that there was this management consultancy looking for good guys. That’s why he called me :) It took me sometime to realize that this was no joke. There was no idea about the profile but I trusted Doc and sent him my résumé.

I was called for an interview. Things started off fine. I had two rounds on our very first meeting. I scraped through to the next round. This was with the management director and it was a case study round. He took my case, literally. I did pretty badly but not too bad that I didn’t deserve a second chance. He told me that he saw some hope in me and called me for another round. I was given a specific topic to prepare on. I prepared, I talked, and I conquered. Or so I thought. This round was just to undo my bad performance in the previous case study round. I was called again and another case study followed. And finally he put me out of my misery. I did it! I got the job. Five rounds. Phew!

Thank You Doc. I wouldn’t have started on this journey without you. I want to believe that. I might have heard of the job opening through someone else. But it was meant to be you. Providence!

Thank You Ayan. You have been an amazing friend through all this. You have given me incredible support. Ayan went through hundreds of mails on different mailing groups and found out the relevant openings for me. He used to call me every ten minutes about one opening or the other. He stopped me from doing really stupid things and gave me confidence to go after what I really wanted. Thanks a lot buddy.

Thank You Akshay. Akshay has been my knowledge resource. We were like brothers in arms. He has been one reassuring constant in my life. We drank copious amounts of coffee discussing our careers and our future. In my first round, they asked me about capital budgeting. My first thought was, “Shit! Let me call Akshay.” Dude…remember…You take Harvard. I will take Wharton! Thanks maga.

Thanks to everyone who has been there for me.

Last but not the least (tradition, you see) I would like to thank my former employer. Thanks to them who kept me thoroughly jobless and unemployed and paid me money for warming the seats. This ensured that I could prepare well and sneak away for interviews without much worry.

I will be starting my new job from Monday. This is what I really wanted to do. I hope I rock at my new place. Wish me luck!

Thursday, October 05, 2006

Time and Motion Study

Location: IITM
Courtesy: Friends :)

Comfortable Silence



Tuesday, October 03, 2006

N>=30 for Normal Distribution!

Where: Mess at L
When: Late Night, Late Feb, 2006

It was pretty late in the night. I was sitting with a plate of Maggi and bunch of other interesting things, a.k.a friends, in front of me. There was a junior amongst us who bagged an internship with ITC and will be working out of Coimbatore for two months.
We are having a very lively discussion about the weather when a friend of mine came up with this brilliant stuff.
She: "You know what, the weather is nice in April but it gets really hot in May."
Us: “How do you know? Have you been there around that time?”
She: "Yup, I was there in April and May.”
Us: “Oh. Ok.”
She: “Ya. I was there for two days. April 30th and May 1st”

*eyes popped out*
*hanged myself to death with Maggi*