Saturday night

Hey, man I’m alive I’m taking each day and night at a time
I’m feeling like a Monday but someday Ill be Saturday night

Long long ago, in the coastal city of Vizag, when I was still a kid I had a love hate relationship with Saturdays. I loved them because of the promise it held: no school the next day and pure unadulterated fun time. I hated them because it is another day at school and it was the worst compared to the other five. The classes began at 830 in the morning and continued till 130 in the afternoon with just one measly ten minute break in between. That’s a lot education and gyaan crammed into one session. Our school wasn’t so hep and happening that Saturdays were declared holidays. I bet they would have taught us on Sundays too. Thank Jesus for creating Christianity and the Sunday church along with it! (Our school was run by some missionaries. Catholic, I think.) There was nothing much we could do but wait for the new month and the second Saturday it brought along. Five day week remained a distant dream.

But things changed when the ICSE board decided that studying on Saturdays is inhuman and mandated our school to adopt the five day week standard. This was around the same time they decided that it is inhuman to test students on three years worth of material and bifurcated syllabus was introduced. And so started the best days of our lives and the worst for my parents. Five day week – WooHoo!

The powers-that-maybe must have decided that happiness has to be cyclical. Goddammit. The board of intermediate education of our state was of the opinion that more we study, the more engineers that the state can proudly produce. (At last count AP produced 100,000,001 engineers and I am not the one at the end of those zeros) So we were back to six day week again. The only difference is that there was not much education happening in these sessions. It was around this time, I heard that IITs have a five day week and that was enough to motivate me. I endured the huge books written by Morrison and Boyd, I ventured into the big bad world of Irodov and banged my head with Tata McGraw Hill and its complex math problems. All in the hope of regaining my five day week paradise.

The first two years were pretty good. But, as I mentioned before about the powers-that-maybe, nature struck back with a vengeance. Chennai had a super duper hot summer and there were no rains and the tam Govt. fought with the mighty Gults. All of these culminated in the severe shortage of water in Chennai. Whatever little was available was used up in making sambar. So our college decided to shorten the term and hence had to start classes on weekends too. There goes my happiness into a downcycle again. I decided that I had enough of college and it was high time I started working and earn some serious dough on my own. I took up a job in Bombay and it turned out to be a six day job. They should mention these things in font size 72 and bold it and place it on the first page of the agreement. Damn you, bloody fine print!

After having one year of six day weeks, I decided to go back to college for an MBA. I heard that B-schools are damn cool and hep and all that jazz, so they ought to have five day week, right? Nooooooo. Not the college that I got into! My college wanted to be known for its academic rigor and the board decided that the best way to achieve it is…yes…you guessed it right: A bloody six day week pain in the ass, kick you in the crotch and spit on your neck and grueling schedule. In the second year, they didn’t spare the Sundays too. Where was Jesus when I really needed him?

After two years at college, I took up another job and this time I will be earning serious dough. It is a six day week job. I guess this must be the only corporate which follows this system. But who am I to crib. They are paying me more than enough to compensate for what they have taken away from me. I sold my soul to the devil himself.

But all that is going to change soon. Very soon.

Someday I will be Saturday night.

The quest for work has changed to the quest for value.

Go figure. ;p

Hero of the day!!

A couple of days ago, the management trainees were asked to give sound bytes for a video that was being prepared for the placement season. It was the first time I saw a tele-prompter. I got the shot canned in three takes, the born actor I am. Now I can understand why Aamir Khan gets paid in crores of rupees. Poor guys don’t even have a prompter and have to remember all their lines!

The Quest for Work

Most of my friends know that I am pretty jobless at work here. But no one knows the true extent and the enormity of this. If I count the number of days I was reasonably busy, it would not be more than three weeks. And it has been more than a hundred days since I started working at this place. That is around 20% capacity utilization. I bet that some of my neural networks must have developed cobwebs and grey cells turned real black.

When I made my decision to join this place, I thought this would be my launch pad into the big bad world of investment banking and my dreams were filled with billion dollar deals and high powered luncheons and private jets and fast cars and hot babes and drinking binges and unmentionable acts thereof. It didn’t really work out that way. Not even close to it. I got one hour rides in as-dense-as-a-neutron-star local trains. Social life was non-existent. Yes, the drinking binges were there and they were the only solace.

In the search of work, I have done many things. I attended conferences on chemical engineering to understand the business. I worked for a certain state government with the aim of projecting the state as investment destination. I was asked to work with an economist to prove that the fiscal and taxation policies of Indian government are not conducive for the growth of our industry. My boss is thinking of ingenious ways to keep me busy. The latest was his attempt to make me into an advertising chap. I was invited to work with an agency to come up with the branding strategy and advertising material for our business. Everything under the sun except what I came for.

Junta might think that it is nice not to have work. But it is really tough not to have work. It takes too much effort to be idle and not look too idle. Your lunch hours keep getting longer. The walks after lunch keep getting even longer. You become an expert at avoiding the firewall and browse the blocked sites. Orkut is something akin to a savior. Your entire lifestyle undergoes a subtle transformation.

My quest for work will continue. If not here, it will be somewhere else.

As the wise man said, the show must go on.

Whiskey on the rocks never tasted better. In more than a month.

Cheers!

update: a friend of mine thought that I was drinking whiskey sitting on top of a hill!!

Surprise birthday parties are passé. Surprise birthdays are in!!

The Best of Seinfeld

It has been quite some time since I wrote something. Been terribly busy for the past few days. Job related issues, you see :p.

Seinfeld is one of my favorite comedies and I love George Castanza. What a loser!! If at all one has to be a loser, he has to be like George. Love that guy. Made me laugh many times. Here's his take on life.

The most unfair thing about life is the way it ends. I mean, life is tough. It takes of a lot of your time. What do you get at the end of it? A death. What's that, a bonus?!? I think the life cycle is all backwards. You should die first, get it out of the way. Then you go live in an old age home. You get kicked out for being too healthy, go collect your pension, then, when you start work, you get a gold watch on your first day. You work forty years until you're young enough to enjoy your retirement. You drink alcolol, you party and you get ready for High School. You go to primary school, you become a kid, you play, you have no responsibilities. You become a little baby, you go back, you spend your last 9 months floating with luxuries like central heating, spa, room service on tap.Then you finish off as an orgasm!!

Amen!

Tag-a-long

Book that changed your life: The Phantoms in the Brain. This book almost changed my life, if not for the gentlemen who rejected my applications for US universities. I decided to dedicate my life to neuroscience after reading this book. :-p

Book you've read more than once: Godfather. The Foundation Series.

Book you'd take to a desert island: The Stand by Stephen King.

Book that made you laugh: C&H, if it can be classified as a book.

Book that made you cry: The Last Leaf, a short story by O. Henry.

Book you wish you had written: None. Books written by Scott Adams come close.

Book you wish had never been written: Rama IV, the last book in the Bourne series. Aaargh!

Book you're currently reading: Monkey Business by Troob and Rolfe.

Book you've been meaning to read: Sophie’s World. It has been more than a year since I bought this book. But somehow, I was never able to read it.

I wish I could say,"The tag stops here!". Way no way. I shall tag Gaddam, Manan, Doc and Globu.

I feel mad with power.

Guahaha.

My next movie!

Talk Less. Say More. Say No More.

I dont feel like talking anymore. I am tired of it. More precisely, I am tired of using my mouth and other vocal instruments to communicate. I wish I can form a thought and send it to the relevant person or broadcast it in general. Much more easier, isnt it so?

I am getting more and more lazy by the day.

Second Foundation. Gaia.

Lets Evolve!

Lage raho Munnabhai!