Everything about Nothing

MeNaSe

2008-10-19T15:37:00.001+05:30

It's pretty unfortunate that Jet had to fire some of its employees. Well, these are unfortunate times and tough measures need to be taken. When the going is good, no one complains. But when things get tough and rough, no one is ready to accept the truth. It was pretty sad to see all the sacked employees run to Raj T of MNS. Maybe, they felt they had no other option. But they were playing into the politician hands. This guy is trying to create unions and slowly increase his power and control over key sections of the society and economy. Dont give it to him on a platter! He is a true menace to our society and our nation.
Next day Naresh Goyal comes out and retracts the retrenchment order. We wont know what really happened but it looks like Naresh Goyal had to give into MNS's political pressure. Raj Thackeray wins!
In spite of all this shit, India still manages to show amazing growth. None of these politicians did anything to help the masses compared to what our business leaders did to increase the wealth of India and its citizens. In spite of our political leaders!

Question...

2007-03-19T12:13:00.000+05:30

Christian religion has Satan, Lucifer, Prince of Darkness etc etc as the embodiment of evil and the prime adversary of God.

Is there are a similar character in the Indian religion / myth ?

Would love to know the answer. If there are any informed people reading this, please drop a comment. Thanks.

Gyaan For The Weekend

2007-02-23T16:46:00.000+05:30

"Excuses are like assholes, Taylor. Everybody's got one ! " Sgt. O'Neill

Courtesy Akshay

B-Schools protest RBI’s new policy

2007-02-13T12:11:00.000+05:30

From our special correspondent, Mumbai

Premier business schools throughout India have taken strong exception to the Reserve Bank of

India

policy to allow the Indian rupee to appreciate to control inflation. This move by RBI will adversely affect the image of the premier business schools in India and the glorified employment exchange institutes might not retain their attractiveness for long in this current economic climate.

“With the placement season just around the corner and many top notch schools expecting huge dollar salaries, this news comes as a major disappointment” says Akshay, a member of the placement committee of a premier management institute. After the placement season is over, the b-schools cite ridiculously high salaries by converting a dollar salary into its rupee equivalent using the prevailing exchange rate. Purchasing power parity, a very important concept taught in their economic courses, is forgotten very conveniently. With an appreciating rupee, these high salaries will come down and panic has set in the campuses that this year’s salary will not exceed the last year’s highest salary. On the condition of anonymity, a student from the premier management institute in western India told us,” This current economic situation is compelling us to use our imagination and stretch our creativity to the maximum. One possible solution is to use a three way exchange. Convert the dollar to the Yuan and the Yuan to the rupee. Since China has the wherewithal to withstand the pressure from the US to appreciate its currency and the liquidity of Rupee-Yuan being low, we can boost our rupee salaries and beat last year’s numbers. This is what we do sitting in London for USD 100,000 per annum. I didn’t expect that we have to use our skills during our college days itself!”

A few days after the announcement, RBI stepped in to stop the rupee appreciating too much and bought dollars to keep the rupee above the 44 mark. This is a very strange coincidence and makes one wonder the power of the alumni of these highly regarded institutes.

Have these institutes lost touch with the common man and are only worried about their salaries and not the price of an onion? Are these students on whom the Indian government spends so much not bothered about India but are only looking to exploit the Indian growth story? This doesn’t augur well for a Poised India and one fervently hopes that this is not true.

2007-02-08T14:53:00.000+05:30

What a "tree"t!

Immense joy blossoms.

Link via www.desipundit.com

Purpose of Life.

2007-02-01T17:55:00.000+05:30

Discover your purpose of life in about twenty minutes.
It's a must read :)
Go Disover.

HaHa.

The week that was...

2007-01-31T13:32:00.000+05:30

Bloody Hell.

2007-01-19T15:47:00.000+05:30

We must believe in free will. We have no choice.
-- Isaac B. Singer

Wow!

2007-01-18T13:59:00.000+05:30

The iPhone manages to impress the hell out of you. And that's an understatement. Check the video below. Watch out when the guy zooms into a pic. Phenomenal!! I think I will start hoarding some cash and pick up this baby when it hits the Indian market. So thrilled that my plans of buying a new phone never worked out. Yaapple, here I come. Or rather, I shall wait for you!

Just what the Doc ordered!

2007-01-18T10:21:00.000+05:30

Sacha Baron Cohen won the award for Best Actor in a Comedy or Musical for Borat. Here is his hilarious speech:

“I want to thank the Hollywood Foreign Press. And I just want to say that this movie was a life-changing experience. I saw some amazing, beautiful, invigorating parts of America. But I saw some dark parts of America, an ugly side of America. A side of America that rarely sees the light of day.

I refer, of course, to the anus and testicles of my co-star, Ken Davitian.

Ken, when I was in that scene and I stared down and saw your two wrinkled golden globes on my chin, I thought to myself, ‘I better win a bloody award for this.’

And then when my 300-pound co-star decided to sit on my face and squeeze the oxygen from my lungs, I was faced with a choice: Death or to breathe in the air that had been trapped in a small pocket between his buttocks for 30 years.

Kenneth, if it was not for that rancid bubble, I would not be here today.

Thank you to Larry Charles, thank you to Jay Roach, thank you to Isla Fisher, my fiancee. Thank you to Peter Baynham, Anthony Hines and Dan Mazer; thank you to Ari Emanuel; Matt Labov; Erran Baron Cohen, my brother who did the music; and to Jason Alper. And thank you to every American who has not sued me so far. Thank you.”

2006-12-29T10:27:00.000+05:30

I was at Totos last night and I was asked to stay back to escort a lady home. She stays close to where I live.
She says,"Are we ready to leave?"
I respond in the affirmative and flag down an auto. I tell her that we will take the auto to Kurla station and then catch a train.
She looks at me in a benign way with a sad smile and says," Why dont we take a taxi all the way home?"

Oooops!

I guess I would have been mightily embarassed, if only I wasn't that drunk!

You know what this is about...

2006-12-29T10:14:00.000+05:30

January – Manfest finally got over. Though I didn’t do much, it was nice being a part of that team. Had a one week marathon binge session after Manfest. Vowed never to touch booze again. Found a great friend for life.

February – Total fun time. Attended my last class. Wrote my last exam. Pained my juniors and gave a lot of gyaan to them during dry runs! The bad person in me has finally broken free.

March – Went to Hrishikesh and had one of my most memorable and definitely unforgettable holidays ever. Got a job and am finally out of the system. Cheers. Bid adieu to Lucknow. Didn’t cry at all :)

April – Went to Lakshadweep and Munnar. Time well spent. Went to Bangalore. Came back heartbroken :)

May – Back to Bombay again. Started my new job. Made some new friends. Shook hands with Mukesh! Attended the faccha party and had a total blast. Best Party Ever! Manan puked…Yewww.

June – Moved into our new home. We have our own bar! Started to hate the local train.

July – Getting bored with the job. Life has come to a stop. No action. Resumed blogging.

August – It was still pouring in Bombay. Life has just got suckier! Decided to stay off booze for a month.

September – Hunt for a new job has begun. Bunking office to attend interviews and telling boss that I wasn’t feeling well and feeling real bad about lying to him :(

October – New job. Loved it in the beginning. Loved the money I was making. Went home and had a great Diwali.

November – Bought a new suit! Life has again settled in to its own rhythm. Desperately trying to lose weight. Staying away from booze sounded like a good first step.

December – New realizations about work life emerging. Getting ready to take some risks again. Planned to stay off booze for a month but no such luck :( and the beer belly bulges on!

I tag Deepak, Manan, Gaddam and Ayan...bet these guys have better stories to tell!

Happy New year folks..I hope the new year brings real good stuff into your life. You deserve it machan...Rock On.

You.

2006-12-19T17:27:00.000+05:30

Read the story here.

2006-12-14T13:14:00.000+05:30

In Bombay, whenever money has to be exchanged between a shopkeeper and me, the vendor never returns the money into my hand. He either leaves it on the table or atop a jar. I make it a point to leave the money in that guy's hand. He makes it a point to leave it on the table. He sees my palm but still insists on leaving the money on the table. Any idea why? This bugs me big time.

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Is Atheism the new religion?

Where's the party yaarrrr!

2006-12-04T09:39:00.000+05:30

So you get a new job and you call up your friend. “Hey, I got a job.” He is thinking: Awesome. For me! Now I can go to that restaurant I always fancied and drink the fancy booze on which I couldn’t afford to waste my hard earned money. But what he finally says is,” Congrats dude! That’s great news. So where’s the treat?”

You call up a couple of your close friends and decide to meet over the weekend for a drink to celebrate your success. You are happily settled at the place. But the word slowly spreads that you are throwing a party. All the losers who had no plans of their own for the weekend end up at your table. Now there are fifteen guys at your table and some of them you haven’t even seen for the last few months. They are like, “Congrats dude. Awesome news on the new job. Good Show. Can you pass on the drinks menu please?”

You are happy about your new job and want to have a drink to that. Now this is the funny thing about drinks. You are happy and want to have one. But after you had one, you are happier and want to have some more. And thus goes the downward spiral. Once you had a few drinks, you are the most generous person on the earth. You would put Karna to shame. Some chicken wrapped in the bacon for your dear non-veg friends and some more French fries for your poor veggie friends. Every one is having a ball. No one bothers about you as long as you are sober enough to sign the cheque.

And then comes the bummer. You see a number with lots of zeros in it and you are wondering, “Am I drunk or what? Did we drink that much?” I wasn’t this happy when I got my job. My happiness is not worth the poop bag used to collect a dog’s shit. Ok, maybe a little more than that. But not definitely this much! I bet my parents weren’t so happy when I was born.

You sign the bill just to get rid of it from your sight. But there’s hope. There is always hope. Any self respecting MBA from one of the esteemed institutions in western India and its distant cousin in the northern India and other assorted family members will change his job in the first year of his professional life. You take a look at the other fourteen guys on the table and give a wry and an all-understanding smile. Those poor bastards have no idea what’s coming their way. You just have to be a little patient. Those soon-to-be-poor bastards.

2006-12-01T10:27:00.000+05:30

Globu wrote this really nice piece comparing hostel life to a sitcom and city life to a soap opera.

Zarda makes stick men really come alive and funny too. Check it out.

Read it. Trust me.

Sunday Night Ramblings

2006-11-28T14:36:00.000+05:30

Caught in the wrong job?

Visit http://www.monsterindia.com

Saturday Night Ramblings

2006-11-28T14:34:00.000+05:30

It was a typical Saturday night with me and couple of my friends hanging out at one of the numerous watering holes that dot south Mumbai when one of them suggested that we play teen patti. Six of us assembled at Gary’s place. The minimum amount to start with is a princely sum of hundred and fifty rupees. We used matchsticks as counters. The wooden one costs ten rupees and the wax ones cost two. The game started off fine and I made some and lost some in the process. After a couple of beers, some slices of pizza, and a lot of bad luck, I was left with just one wax stick. It was quite a shock to see all your money gone and have no idea how that happened. I was seriously thinking of buying in again when it was decided to end the game soon. As tradition demands it, we always end our game with a variation called In-Out. A very simple variation with a high risk return framework. It works like this: All of us have to put in the minimum two rupees to be part of the game. Three cards will be dealt to each player. On the count of three, all of us declare, simultaneously, whether we want to be in the game or not. Say three guys are in. One would win and other two would lose. The losers have to put in an amount equal what’s already there on the board. That would be twelve rupees each and now there is twenty four rupees for the taking. The second round would continue with this money on board and the game goes on till there is only one guy who decides to be in the game.

In the first round two guys were in. I didn’t want take any risk so I sat out. Now there is twelve rupees on the board again, courtesy the loser of the first round. I got a decent hand in the second round and I decided to be in. I had competition from one guy. My hand was really good and I won that round. From zero to twelve. That’s infinite returns! Not that bad, eh? The third round started with twelve rupees on the board again. Junta weren’t taking any risks. I got another decent hand and was sure I would win this time. I was in for the third round. Luck was on my side. So thought four other guys. Damn! I lost the hand and I was back to zero again. A couple of rounds later, there was now 150/- on the board. The game was getting exciting now. If I went in and lost the hand, I will have to pay 150/- and I was bankrupt by then. The cards were dealt. It was a decent hand but not worth losing 150/-. I was out and so did the remaining five. I was cursing myself for not going in. I knew no one would go for such a high stake. It was such a golden opportunity that I let go. I was thinking if only I didn’t drink so much!

Next round. One hundred and fifty rupees on the board. In the previous round, no one made a go for it. You can imagine what each one of us was thinking. KC was counting. One. My hand was quivering. Will it be thumbs up or down? Two. There was a slight hesitation from the guy sitting on my right. Three! Thumbs down. Two other guys went in. It was a close call. I would have lost miserably had I been in. Next round: one hundred and fifty on the table again. I got a pair. Not great cards but this is my chance to recoup all that I lost. I decided to go in. This was my best chance. It was like double or nothing. One. I took a deep breath. Two. I took a quick look at the other five faces. Three. Thumbs up. One more guy was in. We decided to display one card each. I began.

Two of hearts.

Two of spades.

Five of clubs.

Three of diamonds.

My heart sank for a moment. What if the next card is an ace or a four? I am so screwed.

Five of hearts.

His final card comes off. Slowly. Too slow for my liking, I would say.

Two of clubs.

Ah! He was shooting with a two pair and I got a five pair. I am back baby. I got my one hundred and fifty rupees back. I chilled out after that. The game got over in another few rounds. I was even. No loss. No gain. Even Steven.

I know it’s no Casino Royale. But for something real, it was total paisa vasool! Literally ;)

The name’s God.

SaiptheGod

Friday Night Ramblings

2006-11-28T14:31:00.000+05:30

A new initiative for global peace. Global Orgasm.

It’s “Make War, Not Love”. Literally!

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Boss says,” I made some comments on the presentation. Why don’t you take a look and turn around quickly?”

Yeah, should I bend over too?

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When you empty your wallet and buy the last bottle of chilled beer from the retailer, you know that life’s good.

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When you empty the bottle and hit the bed knowing that you need not set the alarm for tomorrow, you know that life’s just got better.

2006-11-20T14:23:00.000+05:30

Amazing Post by Greatbong.
On our very own Himesssssh :) Hilarious!

Jerry does it again

2006-11-17T13:32:00.000+05:30

One of the best pieces by Jerry Seinfeld. Awesome-o !!

I swear, I have absolutely no idea what women are thinking. I don't get it, OK? I, I, I admit, I, I'm not getting the signals. I am not getting it! Women, they're so subtle, their little.. everything they do is subtle.. men are not subtle, we are obvious. Women know what men want, men know what men want, what do we want? We want women, that's it! It's the only thing we know for sure, it really is: we want women. How do we get them? Oh, we don't know 'bout that, we don't know. The next step after that we have no idea. This is why you see men honking car-horns, yelling from construction sites. These are the best ideas we've had so far.. The car-horn-honk, is that a beauty? Have you seen men doing this? What is this? The man is in the car, the woman walks by the front of the car, he honks. This man is out of ideas. The amazing thing is, that we still get women, don't we. Men, I mean, men are with women. You see men with women. How are men getting women, many people wonder. Let me tell you a little bit about our organization. Where ever women are, we have a man working on the situation right now. Now, he may not be our best man, OK, we have a lot of areas to cover, but someone from our staff is on the scene. That's why, I think, men get frustrated, when we see women reading articles, like: "Where to meet men?". We're here, we are everywhere. We're honking our horns to serve you better.

Vivaah

2006-11-09T10:01:00.000+05:30

Barjatya claims that the movie is about the journey from engagement to wedding.

In national interest, I hope it is an extremely short journey. Read, rather see, what Deepak thinks about this.

Oye Barjatya Buddy, perchance you read that the journey is more important than the destination. I am telling you, it's whole load of bull crap. Get these two married and pack them off to their honeymoon before one can say "I do". They will be happy, we will be happy and maybe, maybe this is the only way you can make some money.

There is enough pain in this world as such. Why dont you and KJo take a hike to Himalayas? One of you is definitely gonna enjoy it. Then you can make a movie on the lines of Brokeback Mountain. Now that's a journey which many would enjoy!

Swaaaha.

2006-11-01T15:24:00.000+05:30

Knock Knock.

Who is it?

Doc.. Doc.. [Background Music. Don Theme]

Popular Quotes:

Mujhko pehchaan lo..mein hu Doc.

Doc ko beer pilana mushkil hi nahi, namumkeen hai.

Doc ko give up maarne ke liye 13 log wait kar rahe hain. But Doc never gives up. Mind you, AB.

Mama, I am coming home!

2006-10-20T10:07:00.000+05:30

Taxi!

Sir

Take me home

Where?

To the place I belong

Where is that?

West Virginia, Mountain Momma.

Saari. This is India.

Take me home, country roads.

Get out you crack pot.

---

Taxi!

Sir

Take me down

Where to?

To the paradise city.

Where!!

Where the grass is green and the girls are pretty

What the??

Take me home. Oh, won't you please take me home.

---

Air Sahara. How my I help you?

I wish that I could fly
Into the sky
So very high
Just like a dragonfly

Where to, Sir?

I’d fly above the trees
Over the seas in all degrees
To anywhere I please

Would you like a return ticket too?

Oh I want to get away
I want to fly away
Yeah yeah yeah

I think you would need a "Jet" for that. No sahara from us.

Ok. You get the idea.
I am going home for Diwali. This is the first time I am going home after I came to Bombay to become a slave.

Happy Diwali everyone. Have a blast :)

Take care and so long.

See you on the other side of midnight!

No Wimmen Plz.

2006-10-17T14:33:00.000+05:30

I never thought that I would say something like this. I wouldn’t even have dreamt about it and my mind would resist the very thought of such a thought. There is a time and a place in my life when I don’t want any women near me, at least in a 6 feet radius around me. Yes, I don’t want women anywhere near me.

The time: Peak Hours. The place: Mumbai local.

Is duniya mein do tarah ke log hote hain: ek hai the newly-wed-horny-husbands who don’t want to let go of their wives even for an instant aur doosra hai the i-am-soooo-much-in-love boyfriends who wish to spend every second with his girl before bidding adieu for the day. These are the men/boys who get the women/girls into an overcrowded compartment full of men and cause misery and suffering to one and all. As if being single and get crushed by other single men at the end of a long day wasn’t good enough.

After the couple gets into the train, the guy surveys the scene around them. In each and every one of us he sees a Shakti Kapoor or Gulshan Grover, with open salivating mouths and lust in our eyes and bad thoughts in our head [thinking of Garnier Fructis :)]. He has this major feeling that he needs to protect his woman from the bad men who might attack her izzat. He comes up with a plan. He stations her next to the wall so that her rear is protected. He then puts his arms on her shoulders and uses his body as a shield, taking care of the front. The lady is asked to place her arms tightly next to her body. The protection sequence is complete.

This might have been romantic in any other setting. But in the local, it is frigging hilarious and downright ridiculous. Imagine an overcrowded train and this couple in a hugging stance and lady looking slightly embarrassed and the guy throwing menacing looks at whoever happens to look in their direction. Things get worse when it’s a boyfriend-girlfriend scenario. At least the married couple is silent for most of the journey. But not our i-got-a-girl-yippee! guy. This guy has to impress the girl and so he keeps on talking and narrates all the cool stuff that has happened in his amazing life. The lady keeps giggling at the correct moments, playing her role to perfection. All I wanted to do was sit in a corner and read my newspaper and fall asleep after some time. But life’s a bitch!

My major crib against these couples in the train is that they take up so much space. Four guys would comfortably stand in the place taken up by these two. Since there is a girl involved, all of us have to maintain our distance lest something unfortunate happens. Yours truly was subjected to this and it wasn’t a good experience. A kid, 16-17 years old max, gets into the train with her father. It must be her first day at a new school. As luck would have it, she was standing next to me. I had no intentions to get into any trouble and was maintaining a healthy distance. But the train shakes a lot and people keep pushing regularly. How I wish this was some fevicol ad. Everyone in their place! At some point in time, my elbow brushed against her back. She gives me one dirty look. I look away hoping that she wouldn’t yell and call for her dad. This happened a couple of times and she keeps giving that dirty look. I was completely pissed off. I put some fight and moved away from that place. Why couldn’t she travel in the ladies compartment, for heavens sake!! And the worst is yet to come. The lady wants to get down and the crowd splits up like the red sea. A safe passage and everyone ensures that no protruding part of their body touches the lady. You should travel in the local to realize how much painful it is to create so much space for one person.

The government reserved compartments for the ladies. Please use them. Don’t come and stand next to me and pain the shit out of me.

Perhaps they should add more compartments: Couples Only! One more place where I cannot enter added to the list.

2006-10-07T18:29:00.000+05:30

Goodbye, cruel world,
I'm leaving you today.
Goodbye, goodbye, goodbye.

Goodbye all you people,
Theres nothing you can say,
To make me change my mind.
Goodbye.

2006-10-07T15:31:00.000+05:30

Location: Kavaratti. Photographer: Moi!!

If we dont meet again, hope we were well met. Else, I will see you around.

Have a great weekend.

Happy thoughts everyone :)

Thank You.

2006-10-06T11:15:00.000+05:30

I never expected that a harmless and innocent joke can have such drastic effects. Almost life changing events I dare say. Well nothing dramatic happened. :)

Five of my friends from Lucknow opted out of placements and started on their own. It’s a medical tourism venture. Please check out IndigoEdge and IndiaCares. One of them was Doc. Our dear old buddhau who has a perpetual bad taste in his mouth! A few months ago, I scrapped him asking if IndigoEdge was recruiting and told him that I am willing to join them. It was done in good humor and then I completely forgot about it. One day Doc calls me and asks me if I was on the lookout for a new job. I thought he read my scrap and was now getting back at me. I was laughing hard and told him yes. He then told me that there was this management consultancy looking for good guys. That’s why he called me :) It took me sometime to realize that this was no joke. There was no idea about the profile but I trusted Doc and sent him my résumé.

I was called for an interview. Things started off fine. I had two rounds on our very first meeting. I scraped through to the next round. This was with the management director and it was a case study round. He took my case, literally. I did pretty badly but not too bad that I didn’t deserve a second chance. He told me that he saw some hope in me and called me for another round. I was given a specific topic to prepare on. I prepared, I talked, and I conquered. Or so I thought. This round was just to undo my bad performance in the previous case study round. I was called again and another case study followed. And finally he put me out of my misery. I did it! I got the job. Five rounds. Phew!

Thank You Doc. I wouldn’t have started on this journey without you. I want to believe that. I might have heard of the job opening through someone else. But it was meant to be you. Providence!

Thank You Ayan. You have been an amazing friend through all this. You have given me incredible support. Ayan went through hundreds of mails on different mailing groups and found out the relevant openings for me. He used to call me every ten minutes about one opening or the other. He stopped me from doing really stupid things and gave me confidence to go after what I really wanted. Thanks a lot buddy.

Thank You Akshay. Akshay has been my knowledge resource. We were like brothers in arms. He has been one reassuring constant in my life. We drank copious amounts of coffee discussing our careers and our future. In my first round, they asked me about capital budgeting. My first thought was, “Shit! Let me call Akshay.” Dude…remember…You take Harvard. I will take Wharton! Thanks maga.

Thanks to everyone who has been there for me.

Last but not the least (tradition, you see) I would like to thank my former employer. Thanks to them who kept me thoroughly jobless and unemployed and paid me money for warming the seats. This ensured that I could prepare well and sneak away for interviews without much worry.

I will be starting my new job from Monday. This is what I really wanted to do. I hope I rock at my new place. Wish me luck!

Time and Motion Study

2006-10-05T12:36:00.000+05:30

Location: IITM
Courtesy: Friends :)

Comfortable Silence

2006-10-05T12:24:00.000+05:30

.

.

N>=30 for Normal Distribution!

2006-10-03T13:22:00.000+05:30

Where: Mess at L
When: Late Night, Late Feb, 2006

It was pretty late in the night. I was sitting with a plate of Maggi and bunch of other interesting things, a.k.a friends, in front of me. There was a junior amongst us who bagged an internship with ITC and will be working out of Coimbatore for two months.

We are having a very lively discussion about the weather when a friend of mine came up with this brilliant stuff.
She: "You know what, the weather is nice in April but it gets really hot in May."
Us: “How do you know? Have you been there around that time?”
She: "Yup, I was there in April and May.”
Us: “Oh. Ok.”
She: “Ya. I was there for two days. April 30th and May 1st”

*eyes popped out*

*hanged myself to death with Maggi*

Saturday night

2006-09-28T15:20:00.000+05:30

Hey, man I’m alive I’m taking each day and night at a time
I’m feeling like a Monday but someday Ill be Saturday night

Long long ago, in the coastal city of Vizag, when I was still a kid I had a love hate relationship with Saturdays. I loved them because of the promise it held: no school the next day and pure unadulterated fun time. I hated them because it is another day at school and it was the worst compared to the other five. The classes began at 830 in the morning and continued till 130 in the afternoon with just one measly ten minute break in between. That’s a lot education and gyaan crammed into one session. Our school wasn’t so hep and happening that Saturdays were declared holidays. I bet they would have taught us on Sundays too. Thank Jesus for creating Christianity and the Sunday church along with it! (Our school was run by some missionaries. Catholic, I think.) There was nothing much we could do but wait for the new month and the second Saturday it brought along. Five day week remained a distant dream.

But things changed when the ICSE board decided that studying on Saturdays is inhuman and mandated our school to adopt the five day week standard. This was around the same time they decided that it is inhuman to test students on three years worth of material and bifurcated syllabus was introduced. And so started the best days of our lives and the worst for my parents. Five day week – WooHoo!

The powers-that-maybe must have decided that happiness has to be cyclical. Goddammit. The board of intermediate education of our state was of the opinion that more we study, the more engineers that the state can proudly produce. (At last count AP produced 100,000,001 engineers and I am not the one at the end of those zeros) So we were back to six day week again. The only difference is that there was not much education happening in these sessions. It was around this time, I heard that IITs have a five day week and that was enough to motivate me. I endured the huge books written by Morrison and Boyd, I ventured into the big bad world of Irodov and banged my head with Tata McGraw Hill and its complex math problems. All in the hope of regaining my five day week paradise.

The first two years were pretty good. But, as I mentioned before about the powers-that-maybe, nature struck back with a vengeance. Chennai had a super duper hot summer and there were no rains and the tam Govt. fought with the mighty Gults. All of these culminated in the severe shortage of water in Chennai. Whatever little was available was used up in making sambar. So our college decided to shorten the term and hence had to start classes on weekends too. There goes my happiness into a downcycle again. I decided that I had enough of college and it was high time I started working and earn some serious dough on my own. I took up a job in Bombay and it turned out to be a six day job. They should mention these things in font size 72 and bold it and place it on the first page of the agreement. Damn you, bloody fine print!

After having one year of six day weeks, I decided to go back to college for an MBA. I heard that B-schools are damn cool and hep and all that jazz, so they ought to have five day week, right? Nooooooo. Not the college that I got into! My college wanted to be known for its academic rigor and the board decided that the best way to achieve it is…yes…you guessed it right: A bloody six day week pain in the ass, kick you in the crotch and spit on your neck and grueling schedule. In the second year, they didn’t spare the Sundays too. Where was Jesus when I really needed him?

After two years at college, I took up another job and this time I will be earning serious dough. It is a six day week job. I guess this must be the only corporate which follows this system. But who am I to crib. They are paying me more than enough to compensate for what they have taken away from me. I sold my soul to the devil himself.

But all that is going to change soon. Very soon.

Someday I will be Saturday night.

2006-09-23T13:03:00.000+05:30

The quest for work has changed to the quest for value.

Go figure. ;p

Hero of the day!!

2006-09-22T16:52:00.000+05:30

A couple of days ago, the management trainees were asked to give sound bytes for a video that was being prepared for the placement season. It was the first time I saw a tele-prompter. I got the shot canned in three takes, the born actor I am. Now I can understand why Aamir Khan gets paid in crores of rupees. Poor guys don’t even have a prompter and have to remember all their lines!

The Quest for Work

2006-09-22T16:50:00.000+05:30

Most of my friends know that I am pretty jobless at work here. But no one knows the true extent and the enormity of this. If I count the number of days I was reasonably busy, it would not be more than three weeks. And it has been more than a hundred days since I started working at this place. That is around 20% capacity utilization. I bet that some of my neural networks must have developed cobwebs and grey cells turned real black.

When I made my decision to join this place, I thought this would be my launch pad into the big bad world of investment banking and my dreams were filled with billion dollar deals and high powered luncheons and private jets and fast cars and hot babes and drinking binges and unmentionable acts thereof. It didn’t really work out that way. Not even close to it. I got one hour rides in as-dense-as-a-neutron-star local trains. Social life was non-existent. Yes, the drinking binges were there and they were the only solace.

In the search of work, I have done many things. I attended conferences on chemical engineering to understand the business. I worked for a certain state government with the aim of projecting the state as investment destination. I was asked to work with an economist to prove that the fiscal and taxation policies of Indian government are not conducive for the growth of our industry. My boss is thinking of ingenious ways to keep me busy. The latest was his attempt to make me into an advertising chap. I was invited to work with an agency to come up with the branding strategy and advertising material for our business. Everything under the sun except what I came for.

Junta might think that it is nice not to have work. But it is really tough not to have work. It takes too much effort to be idle and not look too idle. Your lunch hours keep getting longer. The walks after lunch keep getting even longer. You become an expert at avoiding the firewall and browse the blocked sites. Orkut is something akin to a savior. Your entire lifestyle undergoes a subtle transformation.

My quest for work will continue. If not here, it will be somewhere else.

As the wise man said, the show must go on.

2006-09-16T13:18:00.000+05:30

Whiskey on the rocks never tasted better. In more than a month.

Cheers!

update: a friend of mine thought that I was drinking whiskey sitting on top of a hill!!

2006-09-16T12:31:00.000+05:30

Surprise birthday parties are passé. Surprise birthdays are in!!

The Best of Seinfeld

2006-09-15T17:14:00.000+05:30

It has been quite some time since I wrote something. Been terribly busy for the past few days. Job related issues, you see :p.

Seinfeld is one of my favorite comedies and I love George Castanza. What a loser!! If at all one has to be a loser, he has to be like George. Love that guy. Made me laugh many times. Here's his take on life.

The most unfair thing about life is the way it ends. I mean, life is tough. It takes of a lot of your time. What do you get at the end of it? A death. What's that, a bonus?!? I think the life cycle is all backwards. You should die first, get it out of the way. Then you go live in an old age home. You get kicked out for being too healthy, go collect your pension, then, when you start work, you get a gold watch on your first day. You work forty years until you're young enough to enjoy your retirement. You drink alcolol, you party and you get ready for High School. You go to primary school, you become a kid, you play, you have no responsibilities. You become a little baby, you go back, you spend your last 9 months floating with luxuries like central heating, spa, room service on tap.Then you finish off as an orgasm!!

Amen!

Tag-a-long

2006-09-13T16:40:00.000+05:30

Book that changed your life: The Phantoms in the Brain. This book almost changed my life, if not for the gentlemen who rejected my applications for US universities. I decided to dedicate my life to neuroscience after reading this book. :-p

Book you've read more than once: Godfather. The Foundation Series.

Book you'd take to a desert island: The Stand by Stephen King.

Book that made you laugh: C&H, if it can be classified as a book.

Book that made you cry: The Last Leaf, a short story by O. Henry.

Book you wish you had written: None. Books written by Scott Adams come close.

Book you wish had never been written: Rama IV, the last book in the Bourne series. Aaargh!

Book you're currently reading: Monkey Business by Troob and Rolfe.

Book you've been meaning to read: Sophie’s World. It has been more than a year since I bought this book. But somehow, I was never able to read it.

I wish I could say,"The tag stops here!". Way no way. I shall tag Gaddam, Manan, Doc and Globu.

I feel mad with power.

Guahaha.

My next movie!

2006-09-08T16:06:00.000+05:30

Talk Less. Say More. Say No More.

2006-09-07T13:18:00.000+05:30

I dont feel like talking anymore. I am tired of it. More precisely, I am tired of using my mouth and other vocal instruments to communicate. I wish I can form a thought and send it to the relevant person or broadcast it in general. Much more easier, isnt it so?

I am getting more and more lazy by the day.

Second Foundation. Gaia.

Lets Evolve!

2006-09-02T11:37:00.000+05:30

Lage raho Munnabhai!

2006-08-31T15:07:00.001+05:30

you have to give up.

you are the same decaying matter as everything else. you are not the contents of your profile. you are not the cuisines you write about. nor the movies you see. or the music you hear. you are not the idea of your perfect date. you are not your best feature. you are not your testimonials :D

we are turning into zombie customers. remember how google adsense works inside your gmail. if you write about a breakup, it will give ads on psychiatrists. if you write about somebody's death, it will give you ads on undertakers. for google, you are nothing. you are just a worldwide corporation's revenue stream...

you have to give up. you are just another entry in a database profile. people add you as a friend, become a fan, accept you as their crush but behind you they might spite you. we are all part of the same compost heap...

for the place of phone, they will scrap you. instead of meeting you, they will send messages. they dont want to see you. they dont want to hear from you. yet they want to communitize. its futile. because this social circus has already hit ground zero...

you are more than a printout of your orkut homepage pasted upon your face. you have to give up.

#$%^& orkut. fukk the songs i like. and fukk my turn ons. let me never be complete. let me never be perfect...

we need to evolve.

'welcome to fight club'

That was what Manan had to say about himself.

Long live Scott

2006-08-30T13:05:00.000+05:30

Scott Adams.

Don’t we love this guy who makes a living making mockery of us I-am-a-MBA-turned-manager types? He is such a prolific writer with really diverse topics. You can check out his blog. A new post everyday! Even during his wedding he managed to publish some articles on his blog and people have the gall to say that they are busy and hence cannot post! His latest books God’s Debris and The Religion War are very different from the Dilbert stuff that made him so famous. I would love to be like him. Draw a couple of pictures and write four lines and Bingo! Well, Scott says,” Just be glad you are not me”.

Manfest is the annual management festival conducted at IIML. Yeah, Manfest..I know..very imaginative on our part! Z had this idea to take this event to the next level and do something different from the other B-schools. The never-say-die guy he is, he mailed Scott Adams requesting him to address us during our fest. Since it is too costly to get him down here, he was told that it will be a video conference. We really didn’t expect an answer from him. It is Scott Adams dude..he is so famous and so busy and all that jazz. Why would he ever take time out for a college he never heard of! But there are a few good men left in this world. Scott replied saying he would do it. Free of cost. No strings attached. We couldn’t believe it. No way! Especially after another very famous CEO asked us $100,000 for a 45 minute videoconference! Of course all the money would be donated to his charity foundation!!

I was still skeptical. I thought it was some guy masquerading as Scott. Or even better, it is Scott himself and he is doing this for some new material for the Dilbert strip. Another example of how stoopid MBAs are! But it was true. It was really Scott Adams and we couldn’t believe our luck. We were so happy that Z actually pulled it off. Bur all those happy moments were short lived. We got a mail from Scott saying that he has been diagnosed with spasmodic dystonia. It was so bizarre. He can speak to a huge audience but cannot hold a one-on-one conversation. Since we were set up for a video conference, it cannot be done. We were devastated. We actually prayed that his condition is not so serious and he would be able to talk to us. Yes, I know it is a very selfish thought but still…we wanted to hear him talk to us so badly. The videoconference facility was booked and we did not cancel it until the event was over. The talk never happened.

When I looked back at those series of events and read the mails sent by him, I was struck by the fact that he was such a nice guy. A very simple person. You can see it in the way he mails us and responds to us. There is really a lot to learn from him. In spite of all that success, he remains a simple guy. In spite of all the difficulties he faces in drawing, he continues to regale us everyday.

Bow.

Truly, an inspiration.

Here’s to you Scott.

Orkut Rocks!!!

2006-08-28T12:47:00.000+05:30

Today's Fortune:
You are soon going to change your present line of work.

I hope this comes true ;)

Goofy. Pluto. Dwarf. Planet.

2006-08-25T11:58:00.000+05:30

Scott Adams wrote this. Damn Funny.

First we had 9. Then 10. Increased to 12.

Now it is down to 8. Some fun these astronomers have.

I read a little about Pluto and it does have some signifcance in astrology. Now I wonder what happens to those poor souls whose lives were supposed to have been affected by the planet. If you were told that since Pluto is behind Uranus, you need to do something to get it off your back. You start being nice to dogs and start eating with Uranus (Southpark Style!) to ward off the evil planet. One fine day you wake up and you were told that it was all a joke. Pluto was never a planet and hence it couldn’t have any affect on you. How would you feel? Miserable. Pathetic. Maybe you would want to end your life!!

Let’s take this a parsec ahead. Sometime in the distant future, a panel of scientists sits down and decides that there is no God. They got proof for it. How would the believers feel? All the good deeds done in hope of getting a place in the heaven for you and hell for your neighbor are meaningless. How would they feel? I bet that some of them would want to end their lives. God might not be there but Heaven might still keep its gates open for a while!

...And the sun still shines.

2006-08-24T11:39:00.000+05:30

The world is definitely not lacking in fools. Remember the issue of orkut and the crush list. Well it is back again. I got the message from my not-so-dear friend AB, a week after the first message. I assumed that most people will realise that it is a joke in a day or two. But this guy is too much. One week after the joke started, he still fell for it.

Evolution is a natural process :) Some guy wanted to make the message more believable and hence adds a small piece of code to the message and sends it across. He finishes the message by saying " this really works dude!!".

There goes my faith in humanity and its intelligence.

:)

2006-08-23T13:25:00.000+05:30

courtesy: http://www.nicklewis.org/art/photos-and-graphics/fukitol-the-new-miracle-drug

Scrambled eggs all over my face

2006-08-23T11:32:00.000+05:30

Hey baby, I hear the blues a-callin',

Tossed salad and scrambled eggs

Oh My

Mercy

And maybe I seem a bit confused,

Yeah maybe, but I got you pegged!

Ha, Ha, Ha, Ha!

But I don't know what to do with those tossed salads and scrambled eggs.

They're callin' again.

Of late, I have fallen in love with Jazz and Blues and Oldies. They are really charming and can set the perfect mood for reading a book or having a drink.

Arbit thought: Has it become mandatory to listen to psychedelic music when you are either boozing or doping? Is this the only kind of music which enhances the experience of going high? Apparently trance music is supposed to take us to a high without the help of any alcohol or narcotics. The speed of the beats in the music affects the brain waves. Some kind of frequency matching occurs and resonance sets in and takes us to a higher plane. I do not know whether this makes any scientific sense or not but I think it is worth a try. Booze and Trance.

Worst Job Ever

2006-08-21T14:08:00.000+05:30

The stud in a pondy movie. Poor Guy! Sweats it out in the gym. Sweats it out on the sets. But in the end...he is left to his own devices. Poor Guy!

Next in contention: Me. Not for the stud. For the Job (pun tried, very much intended) ;)

2006-08-19T11:44:00.000+05:30

Life is full of surprises. I log on to orkut and this is the scrap I get from some stranger.

Hai friend,

there is a special reason for sending this msg especially 4u.This msg is a love story of mine (sounds good !!!)My name is Yugesh and i hav completed my B.E from vizag n i am a vizag localite.I n a girl named KHANNA r in love from march 27,2004.we loved eachother in such a way that we r ready 2 die 4 one another,n we had gone 4 the engagement in Jun 2005,in the fear of missing eachother,but until his brother named XXX,came 2 know about this matter and tried to influence her ,but when she disagrees ,he made her stop her studies and took away from my life in feb 24,2006,leaving me alone n mad .I searched 4 her a lot but they influenced her in such a manner that she sacrifisied her love for her parents leaving me ,I am really unable to live without her and her caring ,i am unable to decide what to do ,as i am spoling my futher,Do u believe i did not go to US 4 MS in fear of missing her. Frd i know ,u may be thinking ,y this dude! is telling his story especially 4 me ,the reason is ,her brother XXX is yr frd in yr frds list ,GUESS WHO??? n reply me if u can.the most important thing ,i want is yr precious advice to what to do ,as i cann't be able 2 decide what to do !!!!,Pls send me yr advices .expecting reply

yrs frd YUGESH

Funny, aint it!!

@Chasing: Can you psychoanalyze this guy for me. It should be interesting!!

2006-08-17T11:52:00.000+05:30

Saala, uska toh daal diya. Mera haath mein leke kyun kada hoon?

Overheard in the Local.

Check out Overheard in New York

R. O. T. E.

2006-08-16T11:42:00.000+05:30

With this post, I am practically begging to be hanged by my balls and lowered into the grave which I have dug. All six feet of it! But, who the heck cares.

For all those who care about me or have the habit of storing useless information in their head know that I am single and going strong at that. There were a couple of times when I was close to changing that status. The only reason/consolation they could offer me was that they never looked at me that way. To be frank, I never understood that. In the recent past, a couple of events have unfolded which did not aid me in understanding that statement, but maybe, maybe accept it at its face value.

The first one happened around three months ago. My friends and I were sharing a drink when we were joined by a lady, a thirty-something year old HR executive in charge of my friends. To cut to the chase, she told my friends that she finds me cute and if I were ten years older or she ten years younger, she would have asked me on a date. I took the information in and with good spirit. Strike one.

The second one happened a week ago. This was a conversation I had with a colleague.

“Arrey Vittal, junta tere pe fida hai”

“Kya bol rahe ho sir”

“Tere jawaani pe fida hai”

“Duh!”

He comes to me later again and starts off with the same line. This time I asked him what exactly is he talking about. He tells me that there is this lady who “likes” me. A little elderly to my liking. Strike Two!

Twice is no coincidence my man. Strike three and I am out for good. I really don’t know what they see in me. Next time a girl tells me that she never looked at me that way, well, I can at least nod my head in acceptance, if not understanding. Some things are hard to explain. Damn this empirical evidence!

Ok Zarda. Go ahead. Do the honors. :)

2006-08-16T11:10:00.000+05:30

Dominos Pizza Independence Day Offer!!

Buy One. Get Free.

:)

Orkut Spam - Contd.

2006-08-14T16:16:00.000+05:30

Ok. Let us take this step by step. If you send this message to everyone on the list and press F8, all the people who have a crush on you will magically reveal themselves. There is nothing special in this message: Just plain text. No scripts or some intelligent piece of code to do the magic. It is like sending any other message and pressing F8 for that result. How stupid can you be to fall for it? I am wondering how many morons are desperately banging their keyboard waiting for that all-elusive list of people. And nothing ever comes up. That could be the reason why this female sent the mail a couple of times. She is a hottie for sure. Imagine her surprise when she presses F8 and no names appear! I did press F8 (w/o sending any message) to test my theory and nothing happened. Well maybe there are no names to show or the trick doesn’t work. I chose to believe in the latter. ;)

It was pretty sad to see some of my friends fall for this. Dude, I am sorry but how dumb can you get? If you really want to know if someone has a crush on you, go ask. Doing these cheap things to get information sounds pathetic and desperate! Grow up. Use your brain. Stop forwarding that mail which says if you don’t forward this mail within ten seconds to hundred people, Mr. Garrison will come and screw your dog and leave lemmiwinks up your ass!!

Arrrrrrrrgh.

Best Opening Lines

2006-08-14T13:15:00.000+05:30

"Chutiye or bevkoof main dhage bhar ka fark hota hai"

I liked the opening lines of Satya too. Beautiful introduction to Mumbai. I cannot recollect those lines now. If any of you know the lines, please pass it on to me.

What is your favorite opening line/s?

Orkut Spam

2006-08-14T11:17:00.000+05:30

I log on to Orkut and there are some infinite unread messages waiting for me. This was what was in store from me: "man,this is creepy ....its called mind reader. send this to every1 on ur list and then press F8 and ur crushes name will appear on ur screen" Everyone is sending it. Some female sent the same message thrice. She must be expecting a huge number.

There is something funny about this message and junta's reaction to it. Cannot go into it without invoking the Holier-than-thou or the sour grapes argument.

I have some arbit thoughts on this. Will write when I get free from work.

Until then, have a great day.

2006-08-12T15:51:00.000+05:30

Girls. Cute creatures, aint they?

Once upon a time, when we were young, when we started wielding razor blades for the first time, back at our engineering college, we used to lament the fact that there are not enough girls in our college.(Not that I could have done anything in any situation) There was a serious lack of quality and quantity. The joke that used to go around was that 99% of the girls in India are pretty and the rest ended up in our college. Some idiot got a brainwave and made shit loads of money when he made a tee shirt out of it.

Fast forward a few years, I found myself in the big bad city of Bombay. As any engineer worth his drafter and letters to penthouse would do, I was preparing for CAT. One of the coaching institutes organized a one day session for this and invited all the students preparing for the exam. The day being a Sunday and not much for me to do in the hot and happening kopar khairane bachelors pad that I inhabit, I decided to go and spend some time in the real Bombay. The session was nothing great and didn’t offer me any hope that I would be making truckloads of dollars two years down the line and I will be riding with four dumb blondes in my imported convertible. But the motivation for me to enter IIMs came from a totally different, if not unexpected direction. Yes, you guessed it. From those cute creatures called Girls. There were so many of them and so pretty and hot and all those adjectives. This session happened at a management school in Bombay and I had a chance to see the college students that day. God, it was like a fashion parade! I naively assumed, in spite of my past experiences, that at least some of them would be smart enough to make it all the way to the end.

The smart guy I am, I was able to fool two old guys (one of them had a bladder problem and didn’t ask too many questions and went out to pee as soon as I started talking about power factors) to let me into the hallowed portals (Ahem!) of management education. I entered the college with my eyes wide open, as wide as I could without letting the sun roast my already damaged retina (watching too much of the blue color has negative effects on the optical apparatus, apparently). The campus reminded me of my engineering college in more ways than one. It was huge, green and very much like my old college. The other common feature was the girls. I have a knack of getting into these places where the female species is grossly underrepresented (Proof: my office, yet again). Disappointment haunted all my life.

Things weren’t that bad for our seniors. In fact, in fact they were ecstatic. It was like a blind man was able to see Chasey Lain and Tera Patrick in the same frame. It was like a catholic priest who became the head of Doon school (Hi Kalluri!!) The female population had shot up by 300% at our campus. You can imagine what would have happened to those testosterone driven, sex starved horny bulls. No stone unturned, no chance went wasted. They were in a full flow giving gyaan on how to handle the stress, how to manage manac and how a shoulder to lean on can be quite comforting in these troubled times. Things reached their zenith/depths when the committee selection began. At our college there are these useless committees to do those useless things which somehow everyone finds useful and hence want to be part of a committee. CV point, you see. This was a golden chance for the guys to get a “good” girl into their fold and work from there towards the ultimate goal. From here it gets deplorable or outright funny, it depends on your perspective. A Kiran would want a Neha in his committee, come what may. But Neha is wanted by five other Kirans. So they strike a deal. “I will give you Heena, do the CorVal and Crest projects for you and let you copy in the mid terms. Pleeeeaseee give me Neha maga. I think I am in love with her and this is my only chance. Pleeeeaseee!” All these issues got settled over a matter of time and everyone started leading their lives the same old way. A peg of whisky, some healthy ogling, and good old “Wow! The best brunette ever” played in a loop.

Cut the present, I am in a similar state. My manager thanked me profusely for being single handedly responsible for bringing down the average age from 41 to 40.95. His KRA on diversity was achieved, thanks to me. I usually have lunch alone in the cafeteria downstairs. I took a sweeping look around the floor and all I could see was either white hair or bald heads or a combination of the two! Not a lady to look at and appreciate ;) I told you before; I got that knack of ending up at these places.

So given these circumstances, past present and the future, I think it is high time I called up my mom and ask her to fulfill her duty towards me and find herself a daughter-in-law.

Unless you, yes you my lady, have some better plans.

:)

2006-08-11T11:37:00.000+05:30

And God rested on the seventh day.

Very apt, isnt it? Given the six day week at my company.

--------------------

When the company was split into two recently, there was a huge problem of talent retention. Either company didnt want to lose the best people and see them join the other group. Many strategies were formulated to retain the talent. I heard the salaries were hiked and stuff like that. I have a simple solution to all this and am sure it is going to work. Make it a five day week. Everyone would love to join your company. Beautifu, isnt it?

Simple solutions to complex problems. Contact God. Ony cash. No coconuts and bananas, please.
Guaahahahaha <Lightning and thunderbolts in the background>

2006-08-11T11:20:00.000+05:30

The star has finally set.
And my world has lightened up.

Welcome back to Life.

Quick Update

2006-08-11T11:18:00.000+05:30

Last four days have been very busy and hectic. No time for anything else at office other than work. I guess this was the busiest I have been in the last three months. It all began with an innocuous meeting to which I was called to attend. The CEO of our business was there. His opening lines were that this is going to change our lives and he swore us to secrecy. (Haha. I am breaking the rule here. Not completely though.)

I hope it really changes. Wait and watch.

With a little help from my friends

2006-08-07T11:29:00.000+05:30

Acquaintances by Chance.
Friends by Choice.

Happy Friendship Day Buddy!

What would you think if I sang out of tune,
Would you stand up and walk out on me?
Lend me your ears and I'll sing you a song
And I'll try not to sing out of key.

Oh, I get by with a little help from my friends
Mm, I get high with a little help from my friends
Mm, gonna try with a little help from my friends

What do I do when my love is away
(Does it worry you to be alone?)
How do I feel by the end of the day,
(Are you sad because you're on your own?)

No, I get by with a little help from my friends
Mm, I get high with a little help from my friends
Mm, gonna try with a little help from my friends

Do you need anybody
I need somebody to love
Could it be anybody
I want somebody to love.

Would you believe in a love at first sight
Yes, I'm certain that it happens all the time
What do you see when you turn out the light
I can't tell you but I know it's mine,

Oh, I get by with a little help from my friends
Mm, I get high with a little help from my friends
Mm, gonna try with a little help from my friends

Do you need anybody
I just need someone to love
Could it be anybody
I want somebody to love.

Oh, I get by with a little help from my friends
With a little help from my friends.

2006-08-02T11:21:00.000+05:30

Learning

If you dont know where you are going, you will never get there.
courtesy:me

Unlearning

If you dont know where you are going, any road will take you there.
courtesy:abhisar

??

I know where I am going because I know where I am from.
courtesy:kc

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Comment promoted to post
Evolutionary learning (?)

It doesn't matter where I am going because I am always on the move.
courtesy:Bala

Exciting!!

2006-08-01T17:43:00.000+05:30

Most of you must have heard of the major private companies planning their foray into retailing. One of them is a very ambitious project and is already giving jitters to other players in the value chain and its competitors. Statistics say that less than 10% of retailing in India is organized. I do not remember the exact numbers here but it is very obvious that a hell lot of money is tied up with the small kirana and department stores. Organized retailing is making way slowly and steadily and this is seen as a danger to the small shopkeepers. Not if they are smart!

A couple of my friends and me took part in a competition in college wherein we have to come up with an entry strategy for a new retailer. We came up with a model in which the new retailer takes advantage of the existing network of kirana stores in the city. They got advantages one cannot beat for quite a long time. The small guys cannot really compete with the organized retailers as they whole lot of other disavantages like their small size. As long as they are small with no sourcing power, the organized retailers can provide goods at a lower cost to the end consumer. This is one of the USP of huge retailers. E.g. Big Bazaar

Imagine if all the small kirana store guys come together and form a group. They buy as one and sell as one under an umbrella brand. There will be consistency in service and all the stores will be seen as one by the customer. They are availing the benefits of a huge retailer and also getting the advantage of being smaller and closer to the customer. The trust and relationship with the customer is already there. It is a killer combo! Isn’t this exciting? It is happening in Rajkot. Read about it here.

The power of buying as one is immense and can change the contours of an industry and economy too. China does most of its raw materials purchases through a single body. Imagine the power they exert on the global economy. If you take an industry and see its changing fortunes, the reasons usually given are 1. US recession; 2. 9/11 attacks; 3. China stopped buying! That is the power of single sourcing. I am really excited at this development in Rajkot. I hope these guys put aside their petty differences and actually pull this off! All the major FMCG companies must be pissing in their pants.

This development will upset the strategies of the big retailers. Can India do what the US could not?

Today's Fortune on Orkut

2006-08-01T14:12:00.000+05:30

The time is right to make new friends.

Very Ironic ;)

Why blog?

2006-07-31T17:13:00.000+05:30

I was asked this question recently.

Why would I want to put my life in the public eye and let every other person know what am I going through?

I said it doesn’t really matter to me if some arbitrary person reads the blog and decides that Saip is a sad son of a bitch. It doesn’t really matter. Honestly.

But then what about those who know you or are getting to know you? The process of knowing a person is supposed to be mysterious or something similar to that. I forgot the exact words used here. But the idea is that we get to know a person a little at a time. If they met me once and go read my blog the next day, they would know a lot and form some opinion of me and that relationship might go for a toss.

Is it that bad if it happens? If someone reads my blog and decides that Saip is a scary son of a bitch and doesn’t want to be friends with me, it is better for both of us. That person knew about it right away and I need not put in all the energy for a doomed relationship. If relationships and their mysterious workings is the core of your argument, then I am doing a service by making it easier for that person to make a decision and I am giving more information to come up with a meaningful decision. Thank me! BOCTAOE.

There are many other reasons I blog. I feel like expressing myself and this is a very good medium. I can use it as a sounding board and all that jazz. I am not afraid of embarrassing myself. I might write the most stupid stuff or forward really illogical arguments. Like the one above! These are not reasons per se but some factors which make it easier to blog. I tried searching for the real reason but I couldn’t come up with any sound logical reason, some reason which actually means something to me.

Why do you blog or read someone’s blog?

Do you feel like a voyeur when you do it (if you are reading a personal journal and the likes)?

Let's talk!

Joke :)

2006-07-31T16:51:00.000+05:30

Suicide bomb blast: 1 dead.
How tragic!!

Arbit v 0.0

2006-07-31T11:15:00.000+05:30

You live today to die another day.
You die today to live another day.

Your pick?

By the Numbers

2006-07-31T11:13:00.000+05:30

You are just a number.

Roll no 13. Present sir!

Roll no 2. Yes Ma’am

311. Local call

ae99301

10013388

9864314543

36-24-36

You are a fucking number.

Classes change, Places change. Numbers change. But you are still a number. People are still the same. You are still lost. Lost in the millions, trying to find your identity. Your uniqueness. By another number. You try to get the best phone number, the best car number. A number to differentiate you.

A number.

What’s your lucky number?

Local

2006-07-27T17:27:00.000+05:30

Here is my mandatory piece on Mumbai Locals. Any blogger worth the space he blogs on would have written something on it. I am just continuing the tradition.

Mumbai locals are a universe unto themselves. They would form the perfect backdrop for a scary short story by Stephen King, something on the lines of The Trucks or Christine. The trains take on a totally different look when they are desolate. When you are returning late in the night after paying homage to Bacchus, traveling in a local can be totally awesome experience. Sitting by the window letting the air punch you in your face. The handles swaying in perfect rhythm; almost dancing to the beats made by the train as it curves out gently. The very handles which are tugged at by ugly hands, the handles that are desperately held onto by the weak ones, those handles are dancing as they get respite from all the sweat and grime for a few hours. It is almost hypnotic watching them sway. You close your eyes and can see an image of hundreds of people fighting for every square inch and pulling and getting pulled in all directions. You open your eyes and see the swaying handles and calmness in that movement. You close your ears and you can hear the stupid, angry, ego boosting fights. You open them and all you hear is the wind blowing and the train going chuk chuk chuk. It is an experience to be had. Especially if you are drunk!

Let Kurla come. This was our favorite expression in the early days. It is at Kurla that most of the people get down and we get a chance to get a seat. The chances slowly became zero obeying the law of averages. But the expression survived. It is almost mystical looking at the crowd as Kurla station approaches. Most of the people board the train from the right side of the compartment. The Kurla platform is on the right side. Most of the people who board the train beyond Vashi have their backs towards the Kurla platform. You got to visualize this. This mass of people starts slowly turning on their heels. There is no space for maneuver. But slowly and steadily they are changing their direction. Seeing them reminded me of the magnetic dipoles which get aligned in presence of a larger force. Kurla is that force which beckons everyone turns everyone towards itself. The slow movement combined with the mad rush to get outside is an amazing thing to be seen standing at the sides of the train.

My favorite stretch on the local is between Mankhurd and Vashi. Eight minutes long stretch cutting above the sea. It looks beautiful in the evening during sunset. I also like the stretch between Juinagar and Nerul. Lush greenery on either sides of the track; the waterfalls on the hills to your left; the strong wind refreshing you after a long journey. The best part is that I get down at Nerul and go home. Home.

What is your favorite stretch on the Mumbai Local?

Wazzup!!

2006-07-26T14:33:00.000+05:30

That word is one of the most frequently occuring one in my life. On orkut, on google talk, on sms, people want to know whats up!! And I do the same to them and it is getting pretty boring. So what I would like to know is have you done anything different in the last one week? Different enough to be worth telling others. If so, please tell me. This is much more pointed and focussed enquiry rather than a very general wazzup!! Yes..the two exclamation marks are mandatory.

There is a new disease spreading in offices nowadays. I am its latest victim. Symptoms were spotted a week ago and now it is a full blown affliction. It causes temporary insanity due to low utilisation of grey matter in the work place leading to bouts of hallucinations and long yawns. Now the post makes some sense to you.

Whatsay!!

Change

2006-07-22T11:47:00.000+05:30

You are totally pissed off with the current state of affairs. You want to change it. You wish you could talk to that person who is responsible for all this.
Now imagine there is a time machine. You have one chance to go in the past and bring that person, who shaped our today, to the present day and show him the current situation. Then you can send him back to the past so that he can correct the mistakes he did. What situation would that be and who would be that person?

India: A Soft State?

2006-07-22T11:46:00.000+05:30

This is not a researched article but represents what I believe are facts and drew my conclusions based on those facts.

Many people I knew have expressed disgust at India for being a soft target and at its inability to take strong action. This is in response to those kinds of statements.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

There was a lot of anger in Bombay after the bomb blasts. People wanted answers to long pending questions. People wanted strong action from the government and not empty words. There was a lot of talk about India being a soft target, a weak state. We always capitulate to their demands. India is incapable of protecting its citizens in its own country. That is very deplorable. I am in total agreement to that feeling.

Israel attacked Lebanon because Hezbollah committed an act of terrorism on their soil. Everyone was full of praise for Israel at the way it responded to Hezbollah. All they see is that such a small state surrounded by enemies had the balls to go attack the enemy. Why can’t India do the same? This is at the top of everyone’s mind and they want India to go attack Pakistan. This is where I beg to differ.

We just cannot go ahead and attack Pakistan. Israel can do it because it has the backing of the US. Every nation in the world except US is asking Israel to back down. You cannot go on killing civilians in the name of counter terrorism. US is supporting Israel and asking Hezbollah to back down. Israel has the strongest nation on the Earth to back them up. The enemies that surround Israel are non-nuclear. This is a very important point. If we go into the history of Israel and Jews, we can find more answers to this kind of behavior of Israel and it will be totally justifiable. Entebbe, Munich and many more bear testimony to this mind set of Israel. Israel is lucky to be in a position to the things it is doing. Imagine that US did not favor Israel and instead supported Syria and gave ammunition and other kind of support. Would Israel pull off this kind of stunt? I do not think so.

Let us look at the India-Pakistan equation. We do not have any proof that Pakistan had a major hand in this attack. We are not the US of A to go attacking any nation. US had the luxury of the war not being on their soil. They went all the way to Europe, Vietnam, Kuwait, Afghanistan and Iraq to wage a war. It was never on their soil. Their country was safe during the war. What about India? If India attacked Pak, the whole of India is exposed. Should India do that because terrorists attacked us for the umpteenth time? Is that an ideal response? Look at the risk vs. return in this scenario.

India will not take any military action now because it does not want to piss off US. This is in context to the historical (?) nuclear deal that might materialize.

Pak has nuclear weapons. During the kargil war, Musharraf came very close to nuke India. Remember that it was a war fought on Indian soil to stop terrorists. Officially Pakistan was not involved. In such a scenario this guy, who was not the president then, almost nuked us. Do you think that he would sit quietly if India attacks Pakistan on the pretext of killing the terrorists? Just think about it.

It is very easy for us to comment on the situation without knowing the big picture. The politicians sitting there are complete idiots and bastards of the first order. But blaming the government for everything is not good. It hurts to hear Indians talk lowly about their own country. It doesn’t take much to start a war. If someone like you, who admires Israel’s spunk, is at the helm of things might start a war. In the process, you are endangering the entire Indian population.

Something needs to be done. There should be some other way to defeat this menace. If we all come together and think about, a good solution will emerge. Bloodshed will be there and it has to happen. How do we do it without endangering the whole of India will be the challenge?

Kam - Akal Engineering

2006-07-22T11:44:00.000+05:30

The unthinkable has happened! I am on my way to become a chemical engineer. Those were the good old days at IIT when we used to look down upon the chemical engineers. They had the easiest life and the returns were more than they deserved. (They always had the best babe collection. You must have heard the horror stories about girls and the lack of their number/quality at IITM. Things went very bad in between. A girl was spotted in the metallurgical department and the entire building was out there to see who this new species was roaming in their area. They never had a female student ever before!) The story that used to go around was that the first year at IIT was toughest for chemical engineers. On the other hand, for us electrical boys, the first year was heaven before we were dispatched to the depths of hell. It was very normal to look down upon these guys and very natural too. They had the easiest professors any one can dream of. There was one guy who used to repeat the same question paper year after year. One of the students complained to the professor about this and he agreed to change the paper. To his credit, he did change the question paper but only the order of the questions!!! Another professor tells his students that he will give them a C grade if they don’t attend classes and skip the exam. If they want any better grade than that, they would have to attend the classes. At ESB, you are expected to slog it out and become as smart as Einstein to get a C grade. Well, now you know why we didn’t like the chemical chaps at IITM. For the very dumb ones reading this, I am an electrical engineer. Of course! And ESB is electrical sciences block.

Fate, it seems, is not without a sense of irony. Don’t rack your brains too hard. I am quoting Morpheus. I chose Reliance Industries as my preferred employer and joined the M&A division. Given the nature of my job, I need to dabble a lot in chemical engineering and equations. I was doing stoichiometry the other day so that I can develop the business plan of a target company. Now I am attending training sessions on chemical products, markets and technologies. I can throw words like tubular and autoclave reactors, propane dehydrogenation and oligomerisation and the likes. My favorite molecule is 2,4 dimethyl p-hydroxy iso-butenic acid!! How fortunes change!

Training is good fun. Firstly, you don’t get to do any work for three days. You get free food and the centre is pretty close to where I stay. You need to be in Bombay to realize the importance of this great benefit. The added benefit is that I get to hear some very good stories. Once upon a time, there was this chap called Dr. Dubbs who sent his son to MIT to become a chemical engineer. The son was named Carbon Dubbs. Looks his like his dad lost few atoms somewhere. The son was a crackpot, at least that’s what I feel. He added Petroleum as his middle name. The dude is formally called Carbon Petroleum Dubbs. Dr. C.P. Dubbs! He wedded some pretty female and called their first daughter, Methyl. Guess what he called the second one: Ethyl, of course. Thank God there was no Propyl.

Chemistry is much more crazier than I thought it was. Now who in the right mind would convert ethanol to ethylene!! For those who are bulbing big time, ethanol is the booze that I am guzzling down as I write this and you definitely don’t want to know about ethylene. Over the next few days I will become an expert at chemicals and their markets and their technologies.

But you should just sit back and think for a while how modern chemistry has improved our lives so much. There is so much around you that is composed of these chemical products. There is a 90% chance that the shirt you are wearing is made of polyester from Reliance; the computer/laptop you are using is encased in polymers manufactured by Reliance. Chemicals have truly enriched our lives. Well, at least that’s what I want to believe as long as I working for this industry. Don’t you dare disagree with me. Else I will give you a session on how Middle East guys are screwing around with the world economy because of the huge amounts of oil and gas they control. Or I will keep it simple and rotomold you!

Guahahaha.

On Movies

2006-07-17T11:09:00.000+05:30

Movies were an important part of my life. I started watching movies when I was very young. Most of them were English movies. Even though I didn’t understand anything that was happening on the screen, I used to watch them. This was much before I discovered the female form and pleasures arising out of watching them. So you can wipe out that “obviously!” look on your face. I was very young. I don’t even remember how small I was then. But I remember the movies very clearly. The man with the golden gun and the Mackenna’s Gold are my oldest memories. It was mostly action movies that we used to watch. When I was in sixth standard, there were three of us who used to go the movies. My parents allowed me to go to movies on my own even back then. Three of us saw loads of movies together. The Five man army and the Abyss were some of the good memories. The highest ticket back then was 5 bucks and what a fun it was.

Then came that period when boys become more curious with the thing down under and its various uses, the time when biology suddenly becomes more interesting and the girl, whose hair you used to pull and run around so gaily, becomes something totally different. That was the time when English movies became something else completely. That was the time when I understood about those movies played at 1130 in the morning in a small shady theater. The small posters for those movies were covered by even smaller posters at the right places telling us which theatre to come to see the whole picture. Those were exciting times. But it wasn’t that easy to watch these movies. What if you are caught!!

I was in the 9th standard when The Specialist was released. Most of my friends were talking about the movie and the famous “scene”. I wanted to watch it desperately. But I was afraid. I used to think that once I become big, I can watch anything I want and no one could stop me. That was the only solace I had. I never got to see that movie in the theatre. Things changed after that. Not in terms of the movies and stuff like that but I got pulled into the rat race. There were too many exams in my life all of a sudden. The tenth board exams, then college, JEE etc. I will write more on my “education” at the hallowed portals later.

I love movies which has inspirational speeches. One of the first ones which made a huge impression was the president’s speech in The Independence Day. It was too good and after that I became a major fan of the American president. Then, unfortunately, Bush came on the scene. One of my favorite movie characters took a major beating. I cannot remember any movie with a president as a main character after this joker became the president. A huge loss to Hollywood. Have you ever observed these speeches in the movie? The president motivating his nation, the stupid guy declaring his love for her at the beginning of the baseball game, the teacher inspiring his students to rebel or the stupid blonde asking for the country to change. Hollywood has perfected the art of great speeches. I would love to hire one of these writers for my life. Imagine having someone like that next to you telling you all the right words to speak. That would be awesome! The music would start very lightly. Just one instrument to start with. As the speech picks up its tempo, so does the music. More instruments are added for extra effect. Then comes the climax of the speech where the character makes the final pitch. Crescendo! The music rises to a fever pitch and you are totally caught up with the moment and start cheering with the rest of the extras in the movie.

How I love English movies!

No harm in romanticizing life..what say thou?

2006-07-15T11:27:00.000+05:30

There is glory in chasing doomed dreams. There is valour in pursuing dreams destined to decay and die. There is manliness in tilting at windmills, even if some might label the act tragicomic rather than heroic.

It's a bit like wooing a beautiful, unattainable woman. For all the flirting and the occasional positive signals, you know from the beginning that there is never going to be a happily-ever-after, that your proposal will never be accepted.

Yet, the thrill is in the unending pursuit, no matter the soul-numbing inevitability of the ending. The journey itself is the destination.

--Nirmal Shekar

Nirmal wrote this in an article about a person. Identify that person. Do not google. It is more fun trying to guess it. It is very very workable.

Paranoid

2006-07-15T11:26:00.000+05:30

It was pretty late in the night when I left office yesterday. I was sitting in the first class local and it was a little empty. I was very tempted to see under the seat but somehow managed not to do it. It was weirdly unsettling knowing that I might be sitting on a bomb!Two guys walked in and put their baggage on the carrier. After some time, they stood up and walked away from their seats. I was wondering that who in the right mind would give up a seat and stand in the crowd. That too at Kurla!! Then I saw that they left the bag on the carrier..Woah..that was a shock. I looked around and they were still standing there. So that gave me some confidence. Cannot do much if they were suicide bombers ;) You can imagine the paranoia the city is going through. Since I wrote this post, it means that yours truly is still in one big piece. Something to worry about, huh!

The journey this morning was peaceful. It was more crowded than yesterday. Means that everything has truly become normal. As I said, the ride was peaceful. Got only 3 elbow jabs, one stinking armpit and some realy wavy hair trying to enter my nose. Good, I say. The obvious things did happen. My shirt was pulled out, my body bent into some weird shape and my boots trampled all over.

Just came out a meeting where my KRAs were being decided. I am staring at a lot of routine work. Looks like RG will make a comeback the company.

Thats it for today folks. Will live another day to write some more.

Adios

Bombay Blasts

2006-07-15T11:25:00.000+05:30

Arpit and I were at the Mondegar pub when the blasts took place. People all around us were shocked to see the news. But the beer didnt stop flowing. Everyone was drinking merrily and ordering for more. We did the same too. The event was very disturbing and I feel sad for all those families who lost their dear ones. It was almost mind numbing seeing those images. But I didnt feel anything beyond it. I did not feel guilty drinking beer or listening to music while we were travelling back. Does that make me less human?

Everything is back to normal in my life but something has changed. I was very quiet the whole of last night and even now I feel something is not correct. This lack of emotions is very scary.The office is the same today. People busy staring at their screens and worrying how to sell the next ton of polypropylene. Didnt any get affected by these blasts or is it too common for them to be perturbed about it. Media calls this as the Spirit of Mumbai. Really? People need to get on with their lives as they got mouths to feed. They cannot stop their daily routine because someone else got killed. More than spirit, I see necessity.

It is also very heartening to see people come out of their homes and help the stranded. Though this became a problem later, the gesture was genuine.

Sharad Pawar made an impact when he requested all the top officials not to come here and make the situation more worse than it already is. Some sensible guy he is. Unlike Advani. he mouthed the usual condemnations against the blasts and the perpetrators. In the same breath, he accused the government for being too soft on terrorists. Cant these politicians rise above these petty political dramas and for once, put people first? Cant we expect even that much from these low creatures? The Maharastra assembly was adjourned because off the ruckus that the opposition created. Waste of our money again. Cant these guys come together in times of need to stand united and try and solve the issue rather than fighting amongst themselves? When a police official was questioned about the blasts, the first thing he did was shift the blame to the railway police. Disgusting.

On one side we see people,people who struggle everyday, come forward and display their greatness by helping the needy. On the other side, we see the system playing the blame game and mouthing standard press releases.

Not everyone is like this, of course. My respect for the Mumbai traffic policemen has gone up by a few notches. The way they handled the rains last week and the traffic yesterday was commendable.

It was just plain luck that I survived yesterday. It could have been anyone. It has not yet sunk in but this will definitely change my perspective and how I lead my life. Waiting for the realization to dawn on me someday soon.

If we dont meet again, hope we were well met.

Diary of a Deranged Drunkard

2006-07-15T11:24:00.000+05:30

In terms of academic pursuit, the last two years were some of the meaningless ones. Including the four years at Chennai. Then, I had no clue what I wanted to do in life. I just went with the flow. Ended up at iit. What after that? I wasn’t good enough to pursue further education in that field. This turned out to be for the good. I wasn’t good at engineering and I never was. I am digressing from the point. The point is that these labels helped me in life. In getting jobs and furthering our ambitions. I might do an MBA again in some foreign country. This job might help me get there. Am I in search of another label yet again? These six years at academic institutions have definitely changed me. The way I think to the way I feel about myself. They did immensely contribute to who I am right now. But in terms of academic knowledge, I don’t think I did justice to these two places or vice versa. Do these institutes really help India’s cause? I do not think so.

Why do I get bored with things so fast? I was bored with MBA by the time I was finishing second term. I had to pursue something else to make myself feel alive. I am already bored at my job. I am bored with relationships very soon. Hence I don’t commit to anything. But this job makes me feel different. I expect a lot from everything. But things never happen the way you want to, do they? Therein lies the trick. I realized quite a long time ago that expectations screw up a lot of things. I would truly like to follow Calvin’s philosophy. Keep the expectations to a minimum and one will be happy. There is a lot of drudgery and routine work that one has to go through before achieving what one really wants. We have to live with that. Can you?

My mind is as restless as a monkey. Everyday and every instant there are so many thoughts in my head that I go restless and crazy. Even in my sleep, I am conjuring up scenarios and live in then. I wake up with a start and realize that I am not supposed to be awake at this ungodly hour and fall asleep again. I am standing in the local and my mind wanders some where. I let it go because there is nothing else to do. But I need to still this monkey mind. I need to harness it for more constructive purposes rather than just living out my fantasies. There are only so many girls I can screw and only a few roles I can play to perfection. I need to channel this incredible power and come up with something really really good.

What else?

I am really a bad person when it comes to one-on-one conversations. I just don’t know what to say. I thought that my job will be a decent piece of topic amongst friends. I am screwed there also. My work is fucking confidential. There are so many good stories that I keep hearing but I can’t tell anyone. I had my first casualty in Bombay. I feel really stupid at this. I need to develop this ability to make conversations about inane topics. Does it interest any girl if I talk about philosophy or quantum physics or how Turing was wronged in his life or how Feynman is one of the funniest guys on earth? What is that the female species needs from me?

I am good but not good enough. I remember this line very clearly. It happened in my 3rd term where I broke down in a party. I cried a lot and kept repeating this line.I am good but not good enough. Fond memories!But now I am ok with being just good. I am ok. Not happy. But ok. It suits me. Life might not be more happier but it is definitely less sadder. This state is gonna last as long as it can.

We will see.

Family Bar!!

2006-07-15T11:22:00.000+05:30

There is some about Bombay and the word Family. A first for me in Bombay is the concept of bar and family restaurant. Do they expect families to come to a place where people of all sorts come and get drunk and might do things of all sorts. A great dad might take his kids out there and say,' one virrrrgin mareee for my kid and sex on the beach for the girl. make it quickie, please." That would be a great family outing!

Another first for me happened yesterday. A bus just for women! How bad are things for women in bombay?Funny sight of the day: Next to our apartment, i saw this sign. Please keep your condom clean and green. We are like," whathefuck!" then we saw the full sign, part of it was hidden by the coconut tree. Please keep your condominium clean and green.

Bombay Rocks! But not more than my new home. heard that globu was jealous...guahahahha ..thats a great feeling to have my friend. a great feeling.

The Trial

2006-07-15T11:21:00.000+05:30

At some point in life, every individual has to face his enemy, his worst fears, and his nemesis: Himself. In the solitary hollow of conscience, he is the victim, the judge, the jury and the executioner. He is always the victim. There is no escape from this ordeal. Some of the most basic questions in life have the enormous power to drain life out of you. They make you feel as lost as a nymphomaniac in the Vatican. Who am I? What do I want? WHY do I want those wants? There are very few people who have answers to these questions. Most of us believe we have the answers. But they are temporary writings on the beach to satisfy us. The sands of time will erase them and you are in that place again. We rationalize our fears so that we can maintain some balance and lead a simple life. Those who dare to look into this dark, terrifying, and uncharted tunnel either go insane or become the greatest this world has ever seen. Is it light at the end of the tunnel or just a freight train coming your way? Are you ready? Do you have the courage to question and yet get no answers? Are you prepared to embrace life and embark on this new adventure? It is not how you live your life; it is what you believe that defines YOU

I, Undefined

2006-07-15T11:19:00.001+05:30

I am your life. I am your breath.
I am the hand that will rock you to death.

I am the sun. I am the moon.
I am the bane behind every boon.

I am your enemy. I am your friend.
I am the one who screws you in the end.

I make you laugh. I make you cry.
I give you pain along with joy.

I am the question. I am the answer.
I am the judge, the jury, and the executioner.

I am your truth. I am your lies.
I make you see. Close your eyes.

I am the evil. I am the good.
I am the slow poison in your food.

I kill. I rape. I plunder.
Bow before me and surrender.

You are my face. You are my mask.
You are the puppet. You do what I ask.

I am the saint. I am the sinner.
I am the alpha. I am the omega.
I am the creator. I am the destroyer.
I am your god. I am your master.

I am YOU.

*Inspired by Metallica's Sad But True

Trapped

2006-07-15T11:16:00.000+05:30

The birth and the death
The existence in between
Or
The life in between

The induction and the convocation
The farce in between
Or
The knowledge in between

The marriage and the divorce
The misery in between
Or
The joy in between

The prologue and the epilogue
The gibberish in between
Or
The magic in between

The intro and the outro
The noise in between
Or
The music in between

The asleep and the awake
The nightmares in between
Or
The dreams in between

Suffocated,
Trapped in between.
Waiting for the release,
Have to find it within.

La Chanson D'adieu

2006-07-15T11:14:00.000+05:30

As you wish, it shall be
You will be hearing less from me
Nice to know that you are happy
As you wish, it shall be

You have a path, something of your own
Doesn’t matter if the destination is unknown
Thought I will be your friend in this journey
If you don’t want it, as you wish, it shall be

Don’t know where this path will lead
Nothing will get hurt and nothing will bleed
But everything is over between you and me
You wanted it to end, as you wish, it shall be

Many a thing I did, stupid and foolish
Sacrificed a lot, without being selfish
Learnt my lesson and a little more
Goodbye forever and ...not any more

As you wish, it shall be

The Secret of Dhanolty

2006-07-15T11:09:00.000+05:30

I woke up.

I was sweating profusely as if I was running very hard. My feet were dirty and my legs were scratched. I was bleeding in places.

I look to my left and the bed is empty.
“Where the hell is she?”
I go to the next room to check up on my friends. There is no one in there.
“Where the hell is anyone?”
There was something odd about the entire setting and I couldn’t place my finger on it. As I was walking down the stairs, it hit me. The Silence. The silence was so loud that it was unbearable. I ran down the stairs to the reception desk. There was no one there. I look out and see my car parked at the entrance. All the doors were open. The engine was still warm. No keys were to be found.

There was no one in sight. It was full moon and the entire road and the pine trees were bathed in moonlight.
There was a faint light deep in the trees. I could hear some vague voices coming from that direction. I was drawn involuntarily to that light. When I got close enough, what I saw took my breath away. There were more than 30 people standing in a circle. They were covered from head to toe in black robes. Their faces were covered with masks. In the center was a huge fire. Something was being lowered from the top onto the fire. It was she. She was being lowered into the fire. Shocked, I moved backwards and stepped on a twig. The noise was loud enough and they looked at me. I started to run. I was barefoot and running was very tough. I stepped on some acorns and my feet started bleeding. The bushes scratched against my legs. They were gaining on me. And then I heard the shriek. It was totally out of this world. I never heard anything like that before. And then came the smell of burning flesh. The thought of saving her never crossed my mind. I was still running. I saw a small cottage to my left and I ran into it and bolted the door. I was gasping. I sat in the corner, waiting for the inevitable.

Thump! Thump! Thump!
They were knocking at the door. Slowly. Very slowly. They weren’t in a hurry at all.
Thump! Thump! Thump!

It stopped as abruptly as it began. I waited for some time and then went to open the door. I open the door and see my car parked there. The doors were open and the engine was still warm. There were no keys. There is no one in sight. I turn towards the cottage and there was no cottage. Instead, I am standing in front of my hotel. Voices are filling up the air. I think I am going crazy. Sunshine! Blinding light and I can’t see anything. “Somebody save me. Please. Nooooooooooooooooooo ooo.”

Silence.
I woke up sweating profusely. It was just a dream. Thank God!
I look at my feet and they are bleeding. I don’t understand it. I look to my left and she isn’t there. I check up on my friends and they aren’t in the room either. I go down to the reception desk. It is empty. I look out and see my car parked at the entrance.

All the doors are open.

The best thing that happened to me at IIML

2006-07-15T11:07:00.000+05:30

Controls.

Or as AB would put it, The Scheduling and Coordination Team!

It started with an innocent mail sent to me and was asked to report at the placement office. There were fourteen people and I was meeting some of them for the first time.

14 people. 60 days. 1 mission. That’s how I saw Controls. We went through everything. Broken backs. Broken Hearts. Hoarse Throats. Heads hung in shame. Night outs discussing strategy. Nightmares where you see green squares everywhere. It is one place where your strengths and weaknesses are laid threadbare. You would never believe that you have these capabilities.

It was one hell of a ride. My social life (albeit non-existent) went for a toss. The latter half of the day was spent in controls work. During the other half I was either sleeping or was in the classroom or both. I stopped spending good time with my other friends. Classes went for a toss. Never paid attention to the professor as I was fighting to stay awake. The threat of grade drops was looming large. I lost a lot of weight. Fell sick many times. But I would willingly go through it again. Because of the sense of accomplishment that you feel when the first offer comes. And when the process is over, that ineffable feeling. The best part of all this is that you are in the background. The backend! I am eagerly looking forward for the summer placements.

Some great memories. Doc and his chants. Arpit and his mouse. Nimbu and his rainbow chart. Dahiya and his outbursts. Kaushal and his pickups. Tandon and his reserve. AB and his chinky eyes. Pseude and his defences. Mukim and his quizzes. Mehraj and the old man’s wisdom. Prasi and ITC. KC, Gaadu aur who. Globu and his running skills. Logani and his logina. And Critical, of course!

Some great friends too. Some of them won’t be here for summers. I will miss them for sure.

A boyband song

2006-07-15T11:03:00.000+05:30

Hey Folks,
This is my first boyband-ish song. Enjoy madi!!

Oh baby, every time I look at your face
I see the love that you have for me
But baby, why don’t you say it so
You know how much it hurts me oh oh oh

So baby why don’t you come out of your shell
I will take you away from this living hell
We will go to a place we can call our own
And it will be the heaven, I know!

I remember the first time I saw you
The grass was so green and the sky was so blue
It was then I knew it has to be you
Oh baby, my love for you is so pure and true

So baby why don’t you come out of your shell
I will take you away from this living hell
We will go to a place we can call our own
And it will be the heaven, I know!

I am still waiting for that time
The day when you will become mine
Darling do you want to wait that long
For the love you can have all along

So baby why don’t you come out of your shell
I will take you away from this living hell
We will go to a place we can call our own
And it will be the heaven, I know!

Suicide Solution

2006-07-14T18:14:00.000+05:30

Walking down the street, all alone
With my head bowed down
With dragging feet and slumped shoulders
Hoping to be swallowed by the darkness

I wanna fucking die
So that I can stop living this lie
I wanna fucking die
Let me say my final goodbye

Walking into my empty home
Sick and tired of staying alone
I used to cry
So that I can feel alive

But now
I wanna fucking die
So that I can stop living this lie
I wanna fucking die
Let me say my final goodbye

There is no meaning to a life
Filled with struggle and strife
What you want, you sacrifice
Just to feel good and nice
But did you ever think twice
Your actions and their price

SoI wanna fucking die
So that I can stop living this lie
I wanna fucking die
Let me say my final goodbye

Thank God. It's over.

The Flower

2006-07-14T18:12:00.000+05:30

It was a beautiful evening. The sky had a reddish hue as if it is angry at the sun for leaving it again. There was a gentle breeze and the air was filled with the fragrance of flowers. There was a small garden on the wayside. It had flowers of different colors, different sizes and different smells. Some of them were really pretty and many butterflies visit them for their nectar. In this garden, there is one flower in a corner. Ugly and uncared for, this flower just existed. Not lived, just existed. No butterfly ever came to it though he had the sweetest nectar to offer. All the butterflies went to the pretty flowers attracted by their myriad colors. One fine day, he saw this butterfly flying towards him. She is one of the most beautiful creatures he has ever seen. When he saw the sunlight playing on the tips of her wings, he thanked whatever powers maybe for being able to see the spectacle. Seeing her was worth all the pain and drab existence. She came and landed on him and sucked the nectar. He was so happy that he found someone he can offer his nectar. The ugly flower was transformed by the sheer brilliance and beauty of this butterfly. He was never as happy as he was today. He would never be as happy again. And then, she went away. Just like that. The foolish flower thought she will come again. He started making more nectar for her: The sweetest nectar possible hoping she will return. The entire plant was just making more and more nectar neglecting itself. It wasn’t taking care of itself. He was still hoping that she would come again. But she moved on to the pretty flowers. Everyday he sees the butterfly from the distance and craves for her knowing that she will never come to him again.

What can this flower do? All it has is nectar to offer. He stored so much nectar that it started overflowing. It was as if the plant was crying in the night when no one can see him. After many days, the plant made so much nectar that the flower became really heavy. It couldn’t bear the weight of the nectar. It didn’t have the strength to carry on. The flower fell off from the plant. It was lying in the dust and the nectar was flowing into the ground. As if it is bleeding. He could see the butterfly jumping playfully from one flower to another. She was much more beautiful than before. She was coming towards him because she couldn’t find nectar that tasted like his. But it was too late. The flower was broken and the nectar is in the dust. He just didn’t have anything to offer her. While concentrating his energies on making the nectar, the plant totally neglected himself. He was rotting from inside. He was dying from inside. Couple of days later, he saw the gardener coming towards him. There was a sickle in his hand. He knew his time has come. He was happy that he is being put out of his misery. As the sickle was cutting through him, he was thinking of the butterfly. Thinking of how he would do the same thing again and again, without any regrets, if he was given a chance. But little did he know that he was doomed from the very beginning.

The ugly flower he is.

I, a universe of atoms, an atom in the universe

2006-07-14T18:11:00.000+05:30

Fell in love with this piece. courtesy my good old pal Anshul

"I stand at the seashore alone and start to think. There are rushing waves, mountains of molecules, each stupidly minding its own business, trillions apart yet forming white surf in unison. Ages on ages before any eyes could see, year after year thunderously pounding the shore as now. For whom for what on a dead planet with no life to entertain. Never at rest, tortured by energy; wasted prodigiously by the Sun, poured into space, its might makes the sea roar. Deep in the sea all molecules repeat the patterns of one another till complex new ones are found. They make others like themselves and a new dance starts. Growing in size and complexity, living things, masses of atoms, DNA, proteins dancing a pattern ever more intricate. Out of the cradle onto the dry land, here it is standing, atoms with consciousness, matter with curiosity, stands at the sea, wonders at wondering, I , a universe of atoms an atom in the universe."

RICHARD FEYNMAN

Philosophy or something like that

2006-07-14T18:08:00.000+05:30

Pull the rabbit out of the hat.
Nestle deep down in the fur. Be comfortable.
Stand on the tip of the hair. Expose yourself.
Choose your well. Choose your ocean.
Remain a larva. Become a butterfly.
Choose chance. Choose choice.
Choose death. Choose life.
Question Everything. Everything.